Healing Our “Nasty” Rape Culture and Disease of Sexism Together

Posted on by October 20, 2016

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So many women, and men, are being triggered by the national conversation around sexism, sexual assault and the rape culture that pervades all aspects of society here in the United States and, I suspect, worldwide. What was denied and ignored in “polite” company refuses to hide any longer.

Now is the time to acknowledge what women have endured for centuries. Now is the time for every “nasty” woman who has been shamed, blamed, and disempowered by inappropriate and disrespectful words and harmful actions of men to speak to this issue. Now is the time for men to stand up for women and stand up to a culture that seeks to make them perpetrators of violence and derogatory behavior. Together we can declare:

“Enough! No longer will I stay silent about my own experiences. No longer will I watch this happen and not speak up. No longer will I support spoken and unspoken cultural rules that put men’s comfort level (and the maintenance of their positions of power) above the safety of women, and women’s right to respect. I intend to support other women as we collectively heal our culture of rape and sexism.”

Like the millions of the women coming forward with their stories of rape, molestation, sexual assault, sexism in the workplace, and general atmosphere of degradation and belittlement, I have not one but many stories. The creepy teenage neighbor who tried to get in my pants (I was eight), the public shaming of their female “neighbors” by the “boys” on my college dorm floor, the near rape as a twenty-something (saved by an attentive roommate who burst into the room), the sexualized environment where I waitressed, the surprise groping attack in broad daylight as a friend and I walked, the boss who would touch his groin as he talked to the women in the office. This is just the highlight reel. It goes on and on. It includes the disempowering daily slights that hardly register in our collectively numb consciousness.

Until now many men perhaps didn’t get the depth of this cultural sickness because they have not experienced it first hand or they refused to admit to the prevalence of attacks against girls and women because they feel this is a statement against their manhood, their honor, and their ability to keep their children, wives and sisters safe. Obviously when you have millions of women reporting their experiences, you also have millions of men perpetrating these types offenses – so men feel inherently implicated.

Women have not had the luxury of choosing whether or not they wanted to be part of the collective narrative of violence against women, of sexism in the workplace, of an unsafe society that pretends it cares about women – that it is modern and evolved – while debasing women as a form of entertainment.

I believe that many men don’t fully understand how a woman feels when she is confronted by sexism, groping, molestation, rape. When violence, sexual harassment or sexism happens to you, you are stunned, you are shocked!

All your instincts scream for you to report the person, call the police, yell at them immediately, tell someone. And then all your cultural programming kicks in. This culturally brain-washing around men’s hierarchal power in our culture tells you to down-play it, ignore, don’t discuss it with others, excuse it, blame yourself, laugh it off, and be quiet about it because who is going to believe you. Or else you’ll be blamed, and told it’s your fault, you’ll be dismissed, you’ll be the one to suffer the consequences.

And, if your cultural programming is not enough, then you can be sure that the perpetrator will remind you of what will happen if you open your mouth, say anything, think of reporting them.

This great cultural sexism sickness has created stereotypes that trap women (and men) in roles without souls. It has perpetuated false narratives and rules for being male and female. Our cultural sexism and rape culture has conditioned the public consciousness into accepting violence and debasing behavior against women. Violent actions and words often masquerade as sex, making it acceptable to project the violence onto women as their shame, as something they “asked for” and secretly want.

Silence has made this possible, silence has won…until now.

The clearing of the collective consciousness

A great wind is blowing all the debris of sexual assault and violence through the American consciousness and beyond.

A startling wind of awakening is blowing away all the status quo acceptance of belittling and demeaning words meant to prop up male ego, and to scapegoat women for every lack that men personally feel or collectively fear. Even our elections here is the United States show us all the ways that we so easily blame women and hold them to a different standard.

A clearing wind of healing is showing us where and how the patriarchy used “control over” to maintain power, and to keep women little and quiet.

What is acknowledged can be looked at and healed

Now, that our united cultural sickness has been fully revealed we can each participate in its healing. Blame is not the point. Naming the sickness and its symptoms is the point, so that it can be fully recognized and treated like any disease that affects mind, heart, and body.

As it is with all healing and clearing of dysfunction and limiting beliefs, it starts with the individual. As individuals we can:

Only when we begin with ourselves can we heal the greater dynamic. Now is the time for humans to stop treating themselves and each other like there is something fundamentally wrong and unfixable about humans.

Only by admitting to ourselves and to others how American society has perpetuated the abuse, belittlement and disempowerment of women through every societal structure, can we begin to find appropriate solutions.

Only by allowing open conversations around this topic to in a way that produces individual awareness, civil protections, and true high regard for women in our communities, will women be able to stop holding their collective breath in fear. Now is the time for humans to stop abusing the energy fields, bodies, emotional well-being and spirits of others.

Only when we protect women through our collective intention, will, voice and action will we protect the Earth. As long as fear and hate of the creative power of women is upheld, we will see that reflected in our relationship with Earth.

Only by choosing to actively take part in the healing of this great cultural wound can we each find our own true voice, our true values, and our heart-based connection to others, to all that is.

Melissa Wadsworth is the author of Collective Manifestation: Heart-Centered Blueprints for Creating Intentional Community

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